Lol. This few days have been quite funny and tired. Been exhausted out from intensive band practice because our SYF is this coming 11 april. yeah. having mix feelings now. Happy to step down, sad to say the band good bye. Wanted to accompany my sweetheart out, but realised that i did not have loads of time. Didnt get to see her only at my outdoor performance yesterday. Having a bad cough, running nose and slight fever, she gave me a box of strepils(correct spelling?) hoping i could get better. Did not touch till now. Haha. But feeling better now.

Saw somebody blog post, couldnt believe. I cannot control her, so theres only 1 thing i can say to her...

You can have my body, but cant have my soul.
You can have my soul, but wont have my heart.

Though its hurting, but im still gonna say. Maybe this is the least i I could do to let her forget about me.

*Gonna rush for tution. Signing off.
*Lub ya laopo, laogong feeling better le. Sowi cant pei you talk on phone.XD

Having to see somebody post on my tag board. HAHA, remix song. Oops, sorry, because some people isnt able to listen to 1 of the song.Hmmm, decided to add imeem player in it. Haha. The other english song has been removed. Sorry!

"i always bei ren shuai... Den my heart always broken de... Den ish you help me heal it... Den you break it again... So now my heart cannot survie le..die le.."

A quote from my dearest one, having to read this and being stored in my brain. It makes me bleed, it makes me cry, it makes me live with it in my whole life, whether be it i am sleeping, eating, drinking, studying and even dreaming, the thoughts, the words haunts me forever. After reading this, should i have also the same feelings and thoughts of a normal human being or should i look from another angle to have a better view, but the problem is, does it have another angle?

"U noe i am sad. Why cant u just try to make me happy? In the end u oso feel sad because i am sad. This onli makes me feel more sad. Do u understand?.. Wat i wan is you to make me happy... tats all... Can you?... Wo yao kuai le... Jus gif me a smile and i will be contented le..."

Another quote which plastered across my heart. Who doesnt want to be happy? Who doesnt want to have no probelms everyday? Yes, I understand. I need to improve on my acting skills every time i meet you.

"Hahs...I jus wan to let you noe tat... Don be fierce to me or shout at me!!! I don like...Its veri scary and hurtin to me de.. I don like people to shout at me de."

Maybe I have been to fierce to you in a way, its my fault. But wanna let you know that no one loves being shout at and no one loves being left with no choices.

"Wo zui ai de ren shang wo zui shen:(nobody can heal de. Nvm. My heart is always injured de:( Xi guan jiu hao"

Left with no choices but only to cry to myself, blaming myself for the foolish mistakes i've done. Who can heal the pain that was cause by your dearest one? Maybe time can heal.

I always wanted to tell you things that I do not wish to tell you, because i believe some things that are not meant to be told, should not be told. I'm not blaming anybody here. I can feel you have been hurt. Do you know that before meeting you today, what was my feeling? I was feeling hurt and guilty. I cried, yes i did. But its not visible. Every time I raise my voice at you, I scolded myself first before scolding you.

Do you know that every time you tell me you cant call me, my heart will sink. Not even knowing whether i would be able to contact you the next day. Whether I would already be dead the very next moment. But every time you called, it would be very hard for me to put down the phone. Maybe the thought i had was to spend more time with you on the phone because of our personal busy schedule, to further understand each other. You mentioned that you are tire, I can understand that. But do you understand my feelings? Some times, I just do not wish to talk or even sms, but yet i chose to do so. I do not wish you to suspect me of being sad, so i decided to suffer in silence. You told me to tell you things that are troubling me, but i dont want to because both of us will get hurt at the end. You told me you didnt mind, but that's something i know its impossible.

Every time we would just use an excuse to cover up for what wrong we have done or some things that we didnt do on our part, but aren't excuses hurts when we ourselves know that it is an excuse?

Maybe I'm expecting too much from you, maybe i'm just typing to let out what that was inside me for a very long time. I believe nothing is going to happen even after you read this. Now I am trying to adapt to your lifestyle.Having very little to sms you, not even mentioning about meeting, I cant find other methods for us to communicate, though i really appreciate for all the journeys you had made just to accompany me.

But dont you worry, I will improve on my acting skills to be a more happy person so that you can be happy too, if you do not wish to see me sad. Words ringing in my mind every second. Crying in my soul, bleeding in my heart, what more can i do?

yoz...i am back...finally attending a 3 DAY INTENSIVE BAND TRAINING CAMP...lol...it was tiring and its my last band camp wib my fellow members...kinda miss the days i had band camp....haha....tiring but fruitful+) haha...today, its the start of my holidays and the end of my holidays too...cuz its monday tution, tuesday tution, wed band, thu band, fri band, sat band and finally sun band!!! LOL!!..isnt it the end of my holidays..??? haha..oh ya....i fell asleep at 3 ytd...and woke up at 10am today...haha...is tat 19 hrs...? or i fail my maths...phew....didnt hab such a good slp fer the past 4 yrs le...+) the ULTIMATE PIG!!!

haha...today blogging fer ytd de.....haha...didnt know my CHINESE top my whole class siaz....42/50....1st time siaz...normally i only just scraped through or get ard 55% max niaz...haha...not bad...it really boost my self esteem...but my both sciences...nnb...all fail or on the dot pass...why...i got study mah...i reall study...but i dunno why come to test jiu will do badly de...haiz...i studied the wrong thing? or wad... i dunno siaz...sianz....and ytd night was a night i didnt want to went through...

today post...haha...get back georg paper...i was kinda disappointed bout my results... 20/30 niaz...sianz...was expecting a1 or higher marks siaz...this sux siaz...and now...going offline le...den go study...waiting for my sweetheart sms....think i hab really hurt her ytd night...sobb sobb...am i too disturb by my results or am i expecting too much frm her...haiz...im sorry darlin...i didnt meant to....i love you too..i wish i didnt hab the courage at that point of time to put down your phone...my heart hurts too....

haizz...these few days sibei sianz....saw some of my ct1 papers le....all did badly...why why...think i studied the wrong skills or i studied the wrong stuff...?haiz...